A toast to Lauren and John (August 2014)

My name is Bruce, also known as Hack,
And the mother of the bride and I go way, way back.
Every guy should have a female best friend,
And Ginger is mine, and will be to the end.

Stu, well I’ve known him almost as long;
He and I were roommates who would party till dawn.
A fun, fabulous, giving sort of guy;
Does he still throw great parties? Oh my. Oh my.

Well he came home from a law school party one night
And raved of this girl he knew was just right.
He said, “Maybe you know her, she went to HB.”
When I learned it was Ginger, I thought, “Mmm hmm. We’ll see.”

But by the next week, he started to date her,
And now here we are, 35 years later.
31 years married and a special time in their life
As daughter #2 becomes someone’s wife.

And what of this beauty, this whiz kid called Lauren?
Well, she teaches two languages, both of them foreign.
Having moved away when our kids were still small,
My family saw her only yearly, if at all.

But what an impression she made every time;
It seemed that in every stage, she was in her prime.
As an infant, as a toddler, as a cute little child,
As a teen, as a coed, and as a woman kinda wild.

Well now comes John, the dashing fiancé;
They may soon be famous like Jay-Z and Beyonce!
Because Lauren chose him, I have no doubt at all
That he is a superstar, a Bogey to her Bacall.

So what makes a marriage? What makes it successful
Through times that are crazy, and times that are stressful?
Well, patience, lots of patience, and kindness, for sure,
And love by the bushelful, honest and pure.

My wife likes to speak of the 70-30 rule,
Because marriage ain’t a 50-50 deal, you fool.
If you both expect to receive 30 percent
That means you’ll both get 70 percent.

So our heartfelt congrats to Lauren and John;
Try following our rule, you’ll have no problem, mon!
We’re delighted to be present for your special day
And we’re so happy for you in every way!